What do you think about trying to get stress relief by helping and pleasing other people? Are you happy when you see them happy?

The effects of helping others on yourself depends on how hard you work on making other people happy, the purpose of doing that, and the satisfaction that you get from your effort. Let’s take a look at two types of people. The first is a person trying hard to win the acceptance of a certain group by making them happy and meeting their expectations. The second type is doing what he/she could, without actively seeking for acceptance in a group that has fewer expectations in the first place. Let’s name the first person Jack, and the second person Jill.

Jack, who is an entrepreneur, is trying to mix with a group of socialites in order to win their hearts so that he has better chances of getting business deals. He needs to ensure that he dresses like them, talks like them, thinks like them, eats like them, and plays by their rules to earn their credit. Maybe Jack is almost there after all. Is Jack enjoying it? Probably he thinks he is, because he thinks of his objectives. But do you think he’s always happy being there? He’s not even himself. He comes home feeling restless, running out of energy, and worrying about what to do next to please these people. And since Jack is not himself anymore, he may act differently toward his family too. Maybe he unintentionally neglects his wife and kids. He might forget about his promise to take his family on a vacation, or attend his son’s prize giving ceremony at school.

Jill, on the other hand, spends her weekends helping out as a volunteer in an animal shelter. She loves animals, and as she feeds them, bathes them and cleans their cages, she feels a certain amount of satisfaction in knowing that she helps to keep the animals happy and healthy. Sometimes when food and monetary donations come in from generous people, she feels so happy and thankful. Of course there are times when a cat or dog falls ill and needs monitoring, and at these times Jill feels sad and a little bit stressed despite having a vet in the center. She feels this way because of the love that she have for these animals. She goes home each day knowing that she has done her best at something she loves to do.

Now, where is Jack’s stress relief? Does he have any? Jill’s stress relief clearly comes from the satisfaction of doing the things that she love, and doing it in her own way.

Think of which person you are.

Are you Jack? Wake up! Run your life in your own way, be yourself, enjoy whatever that you do, and do it for yourself. Let no one tell you how to run your life. If someone is not happy with whom you are, that’s their problem. If they are really your friends, they should accept you as you are. If they couldn’t, leave with no hard feelings.

Meanwhile, if you are Jill, keep it up! Pleasing other people while making yourself happy is a great stress relief, so lend a helping hand to those in need.

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